What is intuition? And how can we access it to build authentic connections with our kids?
Intuition is defined as “The ability to know or understand something based on your feelings rather than just facts.”
The greatest leaps in my journey as a parent came from decisions based on intuitive knowing. This approach helped me through challenging circumstances and brought clarity when a major decision was required. This ability is not just for a chosen few. Everybody has it. Some just haven’t developed it as much as others. Accessing intuition can be taught and strengthened just like any other skill. And can be an invaluable tool for parents searching for answers as life moves forward.
Mindvalley University put out a video recently about their 4-day intuitive training program. They are projecting in 10 years intuitive training will be a regular part of the workplace. And in 20 years it will be taught in schools like geography and math. In 20 years our children will be grown and we’ll have made a lot of big decisions that will have had a significant impact on our happiness and health. So wouldn’t it be helpful to learn how to access and deepen intuition today?
Teaching others how to access intuition in parenting (and in every area of life) is something I love doing. I have found my intuition to be the greatest tool in my parenting toolbox. Of course, it’s important to educate yourself on interventions and supports available around you. And it’s encouraging to take advice from others who found a strategy or therapy helpful. As for inner resources, having a strong ability to tap into a wiser connection has the potential to transform your life and your relationships.
It doesn’t happen all at once. It’s like working out. You train and practice regularly until your intuitive muscle gets stronger. At first, you may use aids and need some guidance to get you started. And eventually you can access your inner guidance on your own wherever you are, whatever you are doing. We start to care less what others think or do and focus on what feels right to us.
So what does accessing intuition look like?
First, it’s important to understand that intuitive knowing comes to us in different ways because we are all different. Much like our personalities are unique, so too are our inner guidance systems.
When I began developing my intuitive skills 10 years ago, I started gradually through quieting my mind and following guided exercises from experienced teachers. It wasn’t long until an extra-sensory ability emerged. I was caught off guard at first. I wasn’t sure if I was making it up or not. After a while I knew it was authentic. What I had developed was the capacity to “see” into people’s greatness. I don’t mean “seeing” in the visual sense, it’s more of a knowing that comes, seemingly out of nowhere. I can be with someone for a short period of time and a unique level of understanding pops into my awareness; this knowing of their true nature and highest potential. There are times I do receive detailed images and words, but that feeling of knowingness is far more common. And when that knowing comes, I confirm it is inner guidance based on how I feel, so being in touch with emotions as they come and go is an important foundation.
When we are emotionally aware we can tune in and regulate our emotional states. We know how to attend to our needs which brings us to a place of calm. And this calm is the fertile soil that allows intuition to flourish.
Dysregulated or blocked emotions stifle intuitive knowing. Learning how to name and trust the energy of emotion instead of fighting, denying or repressing it is the gateway to greater connection within.
Emotional awareness and intuitive knowing were incredible assets when I worked in spiritual care in correctional services. For nearly a decade, I worked with women who were returning to the community after serving time in federal prison. The support groups and retreats I ran were always popular. Participating in my program was voluntary and I did no recruiting, only through word of mouth and maybe a posted sign-up sheet. Many of my colleagues asked what my secret was. Why did so many women choose to attend?
It wasn’t because I was a top-notch facilitator. It was because deep inside people are longing for a language to express how they really feel and to be seen for who they truly are.
My intuition gave me a snapshot of their soul purpose which was a stark contrast to the labels they had received as inmates. I could see past the criminalization into the their true nature. In a climate where women were judged often and harshly, I didn’t need help developing a non-judgmental approach. I just treated them as though they had already become that version I saw. This created connection and trust. It allowed them space to let their guard down. If they were interested in moving closer to their true selves, we worked together over a period of time to build their inner resources to allow their true self to step out into the world. This inner connection empowered many of the women and helped them build a better life for their families. When you believe you are capable and have a purpose, you respect yourself so you make better choices. I can’t think of a better rehabilitation than that.
We can have a tendency to view our children through the labels they are given. Sometimes labels are helpful and bring clarity. Other times they can be negative and limiting. When we start to view our children through the lens of intuition, only the highest aspects of them come through. We are operating at the most refined level. The judgments, fears and doubts we carry around in our every day experiences take a back seat to a higher wisdom that is confident, balanced and true. Our children feel the difference. They know connection better than most adults do and they respond to it when they feel its presence.
When guidance is needed around a difficult situation or behaviour, using our intuition is like going from the question straight to the answer without all the fumbling around in-between.
Our minds are busy. We have a lot of responsibility in life. Developing a practice that brings greater calm and intuitive knowing into our lives can help us in countless ways. It saves us time, energy and drama.
Getting started is easier than you may think. It starts with creating a little space to be still enough to tune in to the wisdom we carry inside. Breathing deeply is one easy way to start. Just start by creating some space in your lungs. You can try that right now. Take three slow, deep breaths and notice how you feel.
Notice if there is tension anywhere in your body. If you find some tense areas continue to breath and take notice of the area that has the strongest sensation. Focus on that area and take another deep breath. Your body has a message for you. Use your intuition to hear what the message is by asking that sensation “What do I need to know?” Notice if any words, images or ideas come to your awareness. Write them down if you can. You’ve just tapped into your intuitive knowing. If nothing clear came to you that’s perfectly fine. Just continue with your deep breaths and notice if the sensation has changed at all. Try this exercise again and see what happens. You do have this innate ability.
We all have an inner compass that knows what is best for us. Developing intuition can help to build greater connection and trust with our children by building greater connection and trust with ourselves. There is an answer for everything we seek. And those answers are already within us.
